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 Funny readings

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doancuong

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Number of posts : 364
Registration date : 2006-12-01

PostSubject: Funny readings   Sat Dec 09 2006, 22:31

At the age of 20, a woman is like a football - 20 players struggle to get it. At the age of 30, a woman is like a basket ball; now there are only 12 players to fight for it. At the age of 40, a woman is like a ping-pong ball; there are just only 2 players (her husband and her father) who hit the ball to one another. Finally, at the age of 50, a woman is like a golf ball; there's only 1 player left - the husband - who wants to get the ball as far away as possible -> too bad


A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their
sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not
help them. The Browns came to see the doctor. He gave them thorough
physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests, then concluded,
"Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you. On your way home
from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and some
doughnuts."
"Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the
floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife's 'love canal'. Then, on
hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the
grape using only your tongue."
"Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room,
toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his 'love pole'.
Then, like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut."
The couple went home and their sex life became more and more
wonderful. They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see
the good doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take
the case unless he felt that he could help them. He conducted the physical
exams and the same battery of tests.
Then he told the Greens the bad news. "I cannot help you, so I will not
take your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be. I
cannot help."
The Greens pleaded with him, and said, "You helped our friends the Browns,
now please, please help us."
"Well, all right", the doctor said. "On your way home from the office,
stop at the grocery store and buy some apples and a box of Cheerios..."
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doancuong

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PostSubject: Some more   Sat Dec 09 2006, 22:37

1. It's all in the punctuation
An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."

2. Fishing
A game warden finds a man at a popular trout fishing spot with two dozen trout swimming in a bucket. "That's way over the limit," he says. "You're under arrest."
"But officer, please," the man says, "these are my pet fish from home. I just bring them down here to let them swim free once a week. When I whistle, they all come back and get into the bucket to go home."
"I don't believe it," says the warden. "Show me." The man promptly dumps the trout into the stream and gazes after them as they swim away. After a minute, the warden says, "OK, how long?"
"How long what?" says the man.
"How long till you call the fish back?"
"What fish?"

3. Who's stupid?
A young boy enters the barber shop and Bill the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns! He's got to be the dumbest kid in the world" .
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

4. Toilet paper
Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.
"How long will this take?", she asks.
"They'll grow larger over a period of years", he replies.
The wife stops.
"Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"
"Worked for your ass, didn't it?"
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doancuong

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PostSubject: Đừng nghỉ bậy   Sat Dec 09 2006, 22:40

Đừng nghỉ bậy

1.Đưa tay bp thử ci xem sao
Thấy n mềm nn đt vi vo
Vặn vặn, xoay xoay rồi đứng dậy
Nhấp nhổm xuống, ln, dấn o o
Mệt mỏi, mồ hi đầy trn trn
Nữ khch đm lo, ni th tho
- Anh ơi cẩn thận khng chửa đấy
- Ti dấn thế ny chửa lm sao .

2.Em sinh ra ở đầu h
Bỗng dưng anh đến anh đ em ra
Tay anh miết miết xoa xoa
Hồi lu đứng dzậy nước ra đầy h.

3.ng ở dưới ng đt c... ln,
B ở trn b rn .
Đố l ci g?

4.ầu nhọn mnh thun kho kho l
Cắm vo nng bỏng tấm thn ta
Lớn b trắng đen đ tất tật
Dụi vo ngoy ngoy lại bỏ ra

5.Trời nực nn em phải ở trần
Một gậy di di cắm vo thn
Tay kia vặn nm, thn em ngoy
Qun tử sướng từ đầu tới chn

để kết thc mnh tặng lun cu chuyện vui ny:
C 3 c gi trẻ cng đi xưng tội ở một nh thờ. C thứ 1 đi vo ta giải tội xưng tội với cha xứ:
-Thưa cha, con đ lỡ nhn thấy "n".
-Khng sao, con hy về mua thuốc nhỏ mắt m dng.
C gi đi ra v ni lại cho 2 c bạn nghe. C thứ 2 đi vo ta giải tội v ni với cha xứ:
-Thư cha, con đ lỡ chạm vo "n".
-Khng sao, con hy về mua x phng diệt trng m rửa tay.
C thứ 2 đi ra v khng qun kể cho 2 c gi kia nghe. Nghe xong c thứ 3 liền ni với 2 c kia:
-Thi, tao khng cần phải v nữa, tao phải về nh mua kem đnh răng.
................chc vui vẻ............
đừng qu nghĩ bậy nha.


Đp n

1. Bơm bnh xe

2. Mi dao .....

3. Cối xay ..

4. Bn ủi

5. Quạt my
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doancuong

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PostSubject: Ve som   Sat Dec 09 2006, 22:44

Một tc vng hoe, một tc đen v một tc đỏ lm cng một cng sở c sếp nữ, người lun về nh rất sớm.
C tc đen ni:
- Ny cc cậu, ngy mai, chng ta thử về sớm một hm nh. C ấy sẽ khng biết đu.
Ngy hm sau, ngay sau khi sếp về, cả 3 c gi đều ko về. Tc đen tranh thủ lm vườn, tc đỏ tới qun bar cn tc vng về nh.
Vừa đặt chn vo cửa, c nng tc vng thấy sếp nữ của mnh đang ở trn giường cng chồng c ta. C ta khẽ ra khỏi ra v đến đng giờ lm mới đi về.
Hm sau, cả ba gặp nhau. Tc đen ni: "Thật tuyệt, lc no đấy, chng ta lại về sớm nh".
Tc vng ku ln: "Khng, ti sut nữa th bị bắt quả tang đấy".
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Localisation : Nơi c Olive v rau chn vịt
Registration date : 2006-11-30

PostSubject: hay hay hay   Sun Dec 10 2006, 20:32

Một bộ sưu tập truyện cười với cu đố qu kh đấy cheers cheers cheers
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